I’ve been struggling to think of what to write for this week’s post.
You’re reading this on Sunday, but when I’m writing it, it’s currently half past three on Thursday afternoon. I’m sat in the reading room at Victoria University. I’ve got half an hour until my MDIA 306 – Media, Gender and Sexuality tutorial, so I’m going to try and bash something decent out. It’s the last week before the mid-semester break, which means it’s the last week before I push my dosage of sertraline up to 50mg. Considering how things went when I started on these meds at 25mg, I’m nervous as hell.
But I’m also just hanging on for Friday afternoon, when I’ll finally have two weeks off. I’ve been immensely stressed lately. I’ve been tired, anxious, depressed, and feeling stretched pretty fucking thin. Over the past year I’ve gotten used to having a lot to give when it comes to my studies, my friends and my life in general. But over the past little while I’ve been pouring all of my energy into just the basics: getting up, getting dressed, eating food. So surviving, basically. There’s not a lot left over for the other areas of my life. There’s especially not a lot left over for planning, researching and writing an interesting/educational/uplifting blog post. Which is a shame, cos that’s something I normally really love doing.
But I said I’d blog every week for a year, so goddamnit that’s what I’m going to do.
In spite of the general shittiness I’ve been feeling lately, I actually think I’ve done pretty well at looking after myself. Relatively speaking, of course. Because when I say I’ve been looking after myself, this doesn’t mean I’ve been maintaining a healthy mindstate and getting serious fucking gains at the gym and eating a thousand fruit and veges a day, yano? What it does mean is this: I have been surviving. Not thriving maybe, but surviving is all I can ask for at this present moment.
So I think this week I’m just going to list a few things I like to do to take care of myself and make my days feel a little bit more manageable at the moment. Without further ado, I present…
Self-Care for When You’re Not That Interested in Caring for Yourself, by Beth.*
- Go to the gym. Even if it’s only a couple times a week. Even if you’re only there for twenty minutes. Even if you didn’t do any cardio. You fucking went, and you did exercise. And you deserve to feel good about that. (If you’re not a gym bunny, replace gym with exercise of your choice, obviously.)
- Eat breakfast. Every morning. No excuses.
- Make an extra 20 minutes for yourself in the morning before you have to “start your day”. Spend it making yourself feel good. (For me, I like to do my makeup. Everyday makeup only takes me 20 minutes tops, and when I leave the house I feel anywhere between 40 and 60% better about myself if my eyebrows be on fleek. Today you’ll notice I’m wearing blue eyeliner. Fuck yeah.)
- Make shower/bathtime a real fucking treat. Get that hot water flowing, and invest in some amazing smelling bath bombs/shampoo/shower gel. At the moment I’m using Rose Jam by Lush to make showertime a bae/10 experience. Check out my Lush post for more of my faves, or if you don’t wanna spend dat dollar, just have a wander down the hygiene aisle (is that what it’s called?) at the supermarket for some yum body wash.
- Make your living space a nice space to live in. If you have the energy, give your room a quick tidy every day – this is what I’ve been trying to do. I’ve also slowly been throwing out all the trash that just seems to accumulate over the semester because clutter makes me stressed and a tidy room makes my soul happy. I’ve also been putting on my lanterns and my fairy lights a lot. They make me feel calm.
- Spend time with other humans. I’ve noticed that I’ve withdrawn a lot in the past few weeks, and don’t have a lot of motivation to keep up with my friends. Which fucking sucks. I know that the people worth being friends with will understand, and will be there for me once I’m well again, but it’s definitely not the way I’d like to be. Humans are social animals: we need social contact. That’s why I’ve been spending a lot of time with my flatmate/best friend/snowflake Kate recently. In many ways we’re one soul (though in many others we’re polar opposites), and she’s a) so much fun to hang out with, and b) incredibly understanding when it comes to my illness. I also had lunch with my Mummy this week, which made me very happy.
- Give yourself time to relax and feel what you need to feel. Put a movie on or read a book before bed. Go for a walk with your headphones on and your favourite music playing. Get a fuckin’ venti hot chocolate at Starbucks**. #treatyoself.
So that’s me for this week. Next week I’ll probably post about my first week on the 50mgs and how that went. I’m kinda relying on that to sort me back out at the moment, because the way I am now is survivable in the short term, but unsustainable in the long run. So wish me luck!
And hey. I’m not doing so badly that I can’t take silly selfies in public places.
*Alternative title: ways I’ve been staying sane lately lol.
**Colloquially known as White Girl Heaven.